She Saw Me
By Lois Lofton-Doniver
It is late November, and the streets in Detroit are covered with ice and snow. The slippery streets and poor visibility make driving a real chore. I know that I cannot turn back because my dear friend is beginning his transition from this world and Father Time is not waiting.
Finally, I arrive at the John D. Dingell Department of Veterans Affairs Medical Center. I am feeling as if something is squeezing all the oxygen out of me, and I’m sweaty. At the front desk, my voice is low as I say my friend’s name, ask for his room number and directions. The receptionist does not look up from the computer screen; she asks for my ID, then proceeds to fill out the Visitor’s Pass and puts both the ID and the pass on the counter for me to retrieve them.
I walk slowly to the elevator as if I am carrying a ton of bricks, and I’m experiencing more difficulty breathing. The elevator appears to be moving extremely slow, and the other passengers do not acknowledge my presence. I arrive at the sixth floor, walk through the double doors, and the nurses station is directly in front of me. There are four nurses doing different tasks at the station.
One nurse immediately approaches and leads me to a chair.
One nurse immediately approaches and leads me to a chair. She removes my coat and tells the others she is concerned about my well-being — due to my tears (which I was unaware of), the lifelessness of my body movements, and my extremely erratic breathing. This nurse instructs the others to get a doctor immediately because there is a chance I am going into cardiac arrest. This wonderful nurse stays with me, talking calmly and assuring me this was the best place to become ill. Thankfully, I was not going into cardiac arrest but experiencing a powerful panic attack that could have resulted in me losing consciousness and falling, causing bodily injuries.
I’m so thankful for Nurse M: She took one look at me and knew something was not right. She did not hesitate to take action to provide me the best medical attention possible, while expressing compassion during the whole ordeal. Nurse M was my beacon of light in the storm. She calmed my fears about my health and about the possibility that I would not be able to say goodbye to my friend before his transition.
Two days later, I was able to say farewell to my beloved friend with Nurse M holding my hand and giving me emotional support. She provided a safe environment during that vulnerable time. Importantly, Nurse M saw me as a person who desperately needed comfort at this time. I recall us sitting in the lobby once the farewell was over, just talking and laughing like old friends. In hindsight I realized Nurse M was getting my emotional state to a safe place for me to safely drive.
For me, nurses are priceless, not just because of their medical skills but because of their dedication, compassion and kindness to their patients, families and strangers in need.
For me, nurses are priceless, not just because of their medical skills but because of their dedication, compassion and kindness to their patients, families and strangers in need. The nurses I had the pleasure of meeting in the hospital have all gone beyond the job requirements to provide much-needed care and comfort when necessary.
I want to say thank you with love to all the nurses, and especially to Nurse M, for being amazing healthcare workers.
Lois Lofton-Doniver is a Detroit Federation of Teachers vice president. She is also a national trainer for the AFT’s educational issues department and the Strategies for Student Success program. Lofton-Doniver is married, with two adult daughters and two granddaughters, and is a lifelong resident of Detroit.
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